Tag: cricket

Greeley and Complete divorce – both remarry

Just three months after tying the knot, Ozzy rapper Greeley has divorced his inbred gay rapper husband Complete. The BIG GREELZ asked for a divorce early yesterday morning, and although he did not specify the reason, a Facebook post from 11:36 that same morning (Tassie time, NOT Perth) suggested that it may have been influenced by flavour.

The divorce was made official at 12:20. In the divorce statement, Greelz implied that him and Shelly Boy (Complete) had been “eating different brands of instant noodles”, a marriage crime that the mere thought of brings tears to my eyes.

Shelly was quick to find new love, hooking up with the even more inbred Tassie rapper who goes by the name of Dunn D. The pair married at 5 PM. Later that night, Greelz released his diss track “No More Mr Nice Greelz”, a parody of Complete’s own diss track “Mr Nice Guy”. Within a minute of the track’s release, Greeley married Michael David South, some guy who CNN knows nothing about who was pictured with Greelz on a jetski earlier this year. He described his actions as “revenge marriage”, saying that “2 can play at this game”.

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Above: The leaked picture of Greeley that made Complete jealous and caused some domestic violence.

It is believed that some of these events may have been influenced by alcohol intake, as Greelz woke up with a hangover this morning and created the following Facebook post:

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 Disclaimer: Screenshot was sent in by another journalist who helped document this. I do not “Love” react.

On top of this, Greelz has already divorced his new husband. At 4:19 PM this arvo just gone, he made a public service announcement with the following piece of life advice:

Look everyone…
If I ever have any advice to give you…
Revenge Marriage doesn’t work out very well!
I tried with Alertz but could only last a day…
He just carries on too much…

So, apparently this Michael David South guy also goes by the name of Alertz, but don’t take my word for it.

In the divorce hearing, Alertz admitted that he had only dated Greelz because he had a crush on Kerser. Greelz stated that he was “not phased” by this and that it was not the first time someone used him to get to Kerser. In response to this, underground rapper and part time porn star KoolB teased the idea of some footage of the two surfacing on Pornhub, but this is unlikely as Kerser is in jail for arson at the moment.

Here at TripHopz, we are nothing short of sad that Oz hip-hop’s first same sex marraige didn’t last, but we are optimistic about the future and wish nothing but the best for Complete and Dunn D, our second same sex marriage.

Sovereign Hill review – is it worth visiting?

Sovereign Hill is a nice place near the beach in Ballarat that represents the gold rush of the medieval times. Some lads say that this representation isn’t that accurate but I don’t know about that. So that’s why I’m gonna be analysing some things about it in this essay. I’m mostly gonna be talking about the candle shop. So without further ado, let’s get into my in-depth review of Sovereign Hill.

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Candles were made from tallow back in the day, so they would naturally always be white, but the candle making lads would add some random stuff into the candles to give them colour. They used arsenic for the colour green, so some peeps would die from burning those things. Not that we’re supposed to have green candles in our houses. Personal use candles were always white, as mines had called shotgun on all the good colours as their trademarks. So if someone was caught with a coloured candle in their house, everyone thought it was stolen from a mine. The Sovereign Hill candle shop sells candles of any colour—including green—to any lad who walks into the shop; that’s not good.

Everyone knows that men are sexist pigs, and back in the gold rush times they had POWER too–this was before feminism took over. Because of this, women weren’t allowed to work in candle shops back in the day. But just about every candle at Sovereign Hill are made and sold by women. During the gold rush, just about every good job was for men. This is the WORST medieval representation EVER.

For a gold rush town, I’m DISGUSTED that they don’t sell any Will Shakespeare records at Sovereign Hill. Everybody knows that Will Shakespeare was the most prominent rapper during the gold rush, and it’s an utter DISGRACE to not sell his records in ANY gold rush shop. He’d be rolling in his grave if he knew that all of his hard work wasn’t paying off. Without Will Shakespeare, there would have been no gold rush, so Sovereign Hill is utterly disgusting to call themselves a gold rush town.

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Not only is Sovereign Hill the ugliest town I’ve ever visited, but it does a TERRIBLE job of representing the gold rush. Who cares if it’s close to the beach anyway? It’s not even made of gold. The dumb people who built it took what should have been a Will Shakespeare record store and built a stupid candle shop (which sells GREEN candles) in its place. This is the worst gold rush representation EVER. DO NOT VISIT IT!