Did you ever wonder if Western Sydney rapper Scott Barrow, better known by his rap alias Kerser, might possibly have kids? Well, on his most recent album Engraved In The Game, he did say something about a precious diamond. Whether that means he has a daughter or not, we’ve been able to locate a number of other kids who, thanks to CNN’s trustworthy genetics system, we have concluded to be children of the 31-year-old.

This intersex child named Richard is said to have been the product of Kerser’s love affair with personal trainer Michelle Bridges in 2006. When partner “Commando” Steve Willis found out, he stated that he didn’t mind and that he had three kids of his own before banging Michelle in 2013, according to trustworthy news website Wikipedia. The eleven year old is fortunate enough to have inherited Michelle’s buff-arse build rather than Kerser’s drug addict body, and now stands at 160 centimetres and a weight that we’re not going to risk asking, as we don’t know whether Dick is male or female–which we’re too afraid to ask, as any normal lad should be in this day and age.

Young rapper DJ Spuddzz has been confirmed to be the criminal rapper’s oldest child, as he was conceived in the winter of 2002 when Barrow, nearly fifteen at the time, produced his first single sperm. Named Charlie Champion at birth, the mother of this emerging rapper is unknown, as Wikipedia hasn’t published any stories about him yet, but it is said that he was born and raised in Blacktown, where he has been recently sighted. These days, he is famous for his itchy crotch which he rapped about for a WHOLE MINUTE in a Facebook rap video that went viral. This is said to be a genetic disorder from his father which makes it difficult to have children without getting AIDS in the process, making it unlikely that his daughter Nevaeh will ever get a sibling. He has also inherited other habits and disorders such as alcoholism, as shown in picture above where he’s trying to drink beer from a can balancing from the Brisbane Renegades hat he’s wearing. In the 2011 hit “You Know Me”, Kerser rapped the lyric “Twenty years from now, your kids knowin’ the name. My kids will have your kids goin’ insane”, and I can really imagine that DJ Spuddzz will be running the rap biz in 2031, when he’ll be 28, and I can imagine my kids going insane to his music when he raps about real problems like having itchy balls and not just bitches and gangstas and stolen cars.

Eight year old Justin Sider was most unfortunate to inherit his father’s skinny build and bad eyesight but was smart enough to wear glasses unlike his father. His mother Lillian Sider stated in a recent interview with CNN that she was raped by the raper in late 2009 while her husband was chasing him for stealing his dope. Prior to the interview, everyone thought Justin was the biological son of Lillian and her husband. Lillian never told her husband what really happened, as she planned to complain about it twenty years after the incident.

With the release of his Next Step album in 2015, Kerser was reported to have had a child with Tracy Grimshaw, who he savagely dissed in sum of his sick tracks!!! No pictures have been revealed but we have an artist’s impression of what the child should look like above.

But don’t take my word for it.