Tag: eminem

Bill Cosby killed after breaking out of jail

The day we have been dreading has finally come. Bill Cosby has been assassinated.

The legendary basketball player was sentenced to jail earlier this year when multiple charges were pressed against him for sexual assault. One in particular accused Cosby of raping pop superstar Justin Bieber shortly after a particular tragedy back in 2011. Bieber’s passing in 2015 sparked rumours that she had contracted fatal sexually transmitted infections during the assault (aren’t there a lot of those going around now?). The rest of the victims were people that no one cared about because they were merely relatives of class B celebrities who haven’t been relevant for years. Victoria Police decided to lock him up anyway; ’cause we all know he’s guilty until proven innocent.

Image result for person behind bars

On the 25th of December, Cosby announced on Twitter that he was free from prison. What a great Thanksgiving present! But it turned out he wasn’t free at all. He had broken out while sharing a cigarette with the security guard. When the guard tweeted Cosby asking him where he left his cigarettes, Cosby told him that he lost them in the swimming pool of his hotel room. The guard shortly died of a nicotine relief. The story would’ve died with the guard but luckily the brother of rap legend Eminem was there to leak the story onto the internet, as he does.

An hour later, Cosby was shot in the neck while shopping for fishing rods in Amsterdam. He was pronounced dead by Victoria Police twenty seconds later. Just minutes after the death, Kerser’s 1993 hit “Cosby Sweater” became the most downloaded song EVER, picking up more than 10 MILLION downloads on iTunes in that day alone. RIP.

Tributes to the late theatre personality came flowing in from all around the world, from France to Mars. This will go down as a very sad day for the soap opera industry.

New candies Eminems and MGKs send the whole world into a craze

 Editor’s note: This article is about American junk food so don’t feel like we’re being unAustralian by using the term “candy”.

If you’re like me, you’ve probably wondered at some point why your news feed is full of posts that use words you don’t understand like “Eminem” or “MGK”. Well it turns out that new candy brand MGK is beefing with legendary brand Eminem, who recently changed their name from M&M, which they were known as for a long time. The beef started back in 1997 when MGK called one of M&M’s workers Hailie “hot as fuck”. But before we go into detail, you might need to know some stuff about both brands.

Eminem is an award winning candy brand from Mars that was established during medieval times under the name M&M, which took after the initials of Marshall Mathers, the founder of the company. Skip forward to the twenty-first century when worker Slim Shady suggested that they should change their name to Eminem because “good companies always have actual words in their brand names” as he said in a posthumous interview with CNN. In 2009, M&M changed their brand name in respect to the late worker who committed suicide in 2004 during the curtains down stage of an encore.

MGK is a more recent brand that was established in 1990 but didn’t get much recognition until 2018 when Eminems were being dropped by some surprise kamikaze pilot who called out MGK. Three days later, Kelly the Rap Devil fired at Eminem with his machine gun. Nearly two weeks later, Eminem dropped their new product KILLSHOT, which sold 38 MILLION units within a DAY!!! Apparently it’s some kind of trap, and others say that it’s fire, but to me it just tastes like regular Eminems.

Based on these wicked facts, Eminem must have won the beef – although it is extremely odd that a candy brand would have “beef” with each other, especially since their products are basically vegan friendly – but we can only wait to see what MGK brings for us in the future.

Don’t take my word for it.