Russian dudes blew up the moon – in 1969

The time where we get to witness the moon’s explosion is very near.

According to some trustworthy conspiracy theory, some Russian people must have been successful in nuking the moon when they attempted back in 1969.

To end the infamous Russia vs America war, Russian president Kim Jong Un sent Apollo 11 into space to blow up the moon with a nuke. The Americans got there first, but they fucked up by planting a Canadian flag on it. The Russians later blew it up.

George Bush (RIP) denied that the Russians had won the war, although a little known fact about the moon is that it’s actually 50 light years away, therefore, when we look at the sky, what we’re seeing actually happened 50 years ago.

This year, we must be on the lookout for moon explosions, as the war’s ending’s 50th anniversary is in just a few months. Wear 3D glasses for full effect.

Since we’ve sold out, we now have to show an advertisement for these 3D glasses. Sorry.

As always, don’t take my word for it.

New Hilltop Hoods song and album announced

The Australian hip-hop veterans are back. They recently announced their new album The Great Expanse, which will be released early next year, as well as the new single “Leave Me Lonely”. The single was premiered with an interesting music video which looked like a gold rush film with some lyrics on screen and some spelling mistakes.

So is the song hot? Well, for starters, it sounds like a very rushed song. It was presumably written, produced, recorded and mixed in one hour-long session at their plutonic lab studio. It starts with an old school guitar riff, which sort of backs up the gold rush theme of the video. And then pressure and suffer start rapping, and they sound like they’re really impatient to get out of the booth and go home to change their kids’ nappies.

Their lyrics and flow on this song has changed since their last album The Calling. It’s about doing hardcore drugs, mostly weed and ecstasy. They also reference a classic from Vents: “I have to hide in the shadows”. The hook is catchy too.

The video is blowing up worldwide, and it’s on track to be the most viewed video EVER, given that it keeps gaining views at this rate for more than a thousand years and no other video gets any more views.

This song is dope. It’s a surefire hit to blow up on the charts. If it doesn’t, you can still support the song by buying it for the low price of $2.19. Plus, the album will be coming out just weeks before the new Kerser album, so you’ll have a nice present to get for your grandparents before you spend all of your money on yourself.

Get behind these guys and support Aussie hip-hop.

Sovereign Hill review – is it worth visiting?

Sovereign Hill is a nice place near the beach in Ballarat that represents the gold rush of the medieval times. Some lads say that this representation isn’t that accurate but I don’t know about that. So that’s why I’m gonna be analysing some things about it in this essay. I’m mostly gonna be talking about the candle shop. So without further ado, let’s get into my in-depth review of Sovereign Hill.

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Candles were made from tallow back in the day, so they would naturally always be white, but the candle making lads would add some random stuff into the candles to give them colour. They used arsenic for the colour green, so some peeps would die from burning those things. Not that we’re supposed to have green candles in our houses. Personal use candles were always white, as mines had called shotgun on all the good colours as their trademarks. So if someone was caught with a coloured candle in their house, everyone thought it was stolen from a mine. The Sovereign Hill candle shop sells candles of any colour—including green—to any lad who walks into the shop; that’s not good.

Everyone knows that men are sexist pigs, and back in the gold rush times they had POWER too–this was before feminism took over. Because of this, women weren’t allowed to work in candle shops back in the day. But just about every candle at Sovereign Hill are made and sold by women. During the gold rush, just about every good job was for men. This is the WORST medieval representation EVER.

For a gold rush town, I’m DISGUSTED that they don’t sell any Will Shakespeare records at Sovereign Hill. Everybody knows that Will Shakespeare was the most prominent rapper during the gold rush, and it’s an utter DISGRACE to not sell his records in ANY gold rush shop. He’d be rolling in his grave if he knew that all of his hard work wasn’t paying off. Without Will Shakespeare, there would have been no gold rush, so Sovereign Hill is utterly disgusting to call themselves a gold rush town.

Not only is Sovereign Hill the ugliest town I’ve ever visited, but it does a TERRIBLE job of representing the gold rush. Who cares if it’s close to the beach anyway? It’s not even made of gold. The dumb people who built it took what should have been a Will Shakespeare record store and built a stupid candle shop (which sells GREEN candles) in its place. This is the worst gold rush representation EVER. DO NOT VISIT IT!