Greeley and Complete divorce – both remarry

Just three months after tying the knot, Ozzy rapper Greeley has divorced his inbred gay rapper husband Complete. The BIG GREELZ asked for a divorce early yesterday morning, and although he did not specify the reason, a Facebook post from 11:36 that same morning (Tassie time, NOT Perth) suggested that it may have been influenced by flavour.

The divorce was made official at 12:20. In the divorce statement, Greelz implied that him and Shelly Boy (Complete) had been “eating different brands of instant noodles”, a marriage crime that the mere thought of brings tears to my eyes.

Shelly was quick to find new love, hooking up with the even more inbred Tassie rapper who goes by the name of Dunn D. The pair married at 5 PM. Later that night, Greelz released his diss track “No More Mr Nice Greelz”, a parody of Complete’s own diss track “Mr Nice Guy”. Within a minute of the track’s release, Greeley married Michael David South, some guy who CNN knows nothing about who was pictured with Greelz on a jetski earlier this year. He described his actions as “revenge marriage”, saying that “2 can play at this game”.

Above: The leaked picture of Greeley that made Complete jealous and caused some domestic violence.

It is believed that some of these events may have been influenced by alcohol intake, as Greelz woke up with a hangover this morning and created the following Facebook post:

Disclaimer: Screenshot was sent in by another journalist who helped document this. I do not “Love” react.

On top of this, Greelz has already divorced his new husband. At 4:19 PM this arvo just gone, he made a public service announcement with the following piece of life advice:

Look everyone…
If I ever have any advice to give you…
Revenge Marriage doesn’t work out very well!
I tried with Alertz but could only last a day…
He just carries on too much…

So, apparently this Michael David South guy also goes by the name of Alertz, but don’t take my word for it.

In the divorce hearing, Alertz admitted that he had only dated Greelz because he had a crush on Kerser. Greelz stated that he was “not phased” by this and that it was not the first time someone used him to get to Kerser. In response to this, underground rapper and part time porn star KoolB teased the idea of some footage of the two surfacing on Pornhub, but this is unlikely as Kerser is in jail for arson at the moment.

Here at TripHopz, we are nothing short of sad that Oz hip-hop’s first same sex marraige didn’t last, but we are optimistic about the future and wish nothing but the best for Complete and Dunn D, our second same sex marriage.

Greeley and Complete married

Oz hip-hop legend Greeley has officially tied the knot with the love of his life, a rapper who goes by the name of Complete. The marriage was confirmed by Greeley himself in a recent Facebook post. At TripHopz, we support this incredible news and wish the Tasmanian cousins all the best with their new married life.

Greeley’s best man Dunn D described his role as the “offical celebrant for this special moment” [sic] as an honour. However, he is now copping flack from the LGBT community for selecting the “Haha” react on the marriage confirmation post. Greeley though, does not appear to be holding a grudge over it, as he is currently leading a campaign to get Dunn’s new album to number one.

The couple decided to tie the knot after Greelz was freed from jail after “serving” a period of time which included the release of Complete’s debut album which they took ten years to make. It is believed that Greeley was hesitant to marry his lover while they didn’t have an album to their name. Sort of like getting engaged to a virgin, there never seemed to be the right time to make it happen when it wasn’t awkward.

But don’t take my word for it.

Russian dudes blew up the moon – in 1969

The time where we get to witness the moon’s explosion is very near.

According to some trustworthy conspiracy theory, some Russian people must have been successful in nuking the moon when they attempted back in 1969.

To end the infamous Russia vs America war, Russian president Kim Jong Un sent Apollo 11 into space to blow up the moon with a nuke. The Americans got there first, but they fucked up by planting a Canadian flag on it. The Russians later blew it up.

George Bush (RIP) denied that the Russians had won the war, although a little known fact about the moon is that it’s actually 50 light years away, therefore, when we look at the sky, what we’re seeing actually happened 50 years ago.

This year, we must be on the lookout for moon explosions, as the war’s ending’s 50th anniversary is in just a few months. Wear 3D glasses for full effect.

Since we’ve sold out, we now have to show an advertisement for these 3D glasses. Sorry.

As always, don’t take my word for it.

I love songs by Thundamentals

Thundermentals are some Austrian heavy metal rappers. They are made up of Tucker, Jewson, DJ MORGS and Poncho. They recently released their new album I Love Songs.

Their lyrics and music is very romantic. Jewson likes to sing about his overdose and can also rap in Spanish. That’s some talent right there.

The album starts with a really choppy beat and some really weird singing. But it’s dope. Tucker starts rapping about fifty seconds in. Nice!

The rest of the songs are pretty much on the same note. A stand out track is “Catch Me If You Can”. It sounds a bit like an Ed Sheeran song, (I forget which one) but it’s dope!

The last song on the album features Adrian Eagle, the most overrated singer of 2018. Everyone knew him as a big up-and-comer until he ruined the new Hilltop Hoods single. But apart from that, the song’s dope! It features some rapping in Spanish. I can’t understand it but it’s catchy and dope. Jewson and Tucker sound like they’ve been doing this for a while. Dope!

This album is catchy and romantic and dope. You can get it off iTunes for the low price of $14.99, plus you can get it at a shop or illegally download it off their Myspace.

But don’t take my word for it. Here’s what some other guys are saying:

I love songs too!!!

—Johnny

I haven’t listened to the album but it’s dope!

—Chaz

Their accents have to be some of the weirdest things I’ve ever heard.

—Jackie

I’d rather listen to a metronome.

—Sourpuss