Sovereign Hill is a nice place near the beach in Ballarat that represents the gold rush of the medieval times. Some lads say that this representation isn’t that accurate but I don’t know about that. So that’s why I’m gonna be analysing some things about it in this essay. I’m mostly gonna be talking about the candle shop. So without further ado, let’s get into my in-depth review of Sovereign Hill.

Candles were made from tallow back in the day, so they would naturally always be white, but the candle making lads would add some random stuff into the candles to give them colour. They used arsenic for the colour green, so some peeps would die from burning those things. Not that we’re supposed to have green candles in our houses. Personal use candles were always white, as mines had called shotgun on all the good colours as their trademarks. So if someone was caught with a coloured candle in their house, everyone thought it was stolen from a mine. The Sovereign Hill candle shop sells candles of any colour—including green—to any lad who walks into the shop; that’s not good.

Everyone knows that men are sexist pigs, and back in the gold rush times they had POWER too–this was before feminism took over. Because of this, women weren’t allowed to work in candle shops back in the day. But just about every candle at Sovereign Hill are made and sold by women. During the gold rush, just about every good job was for men. This is the WORST medieval representation EVER.

For a gold rush town, I’m DISGUSTED that they don’t sell any Will Shakespeare records at Sovereign Hill. Everybody knows that Will Shakespeare was the most prominent rapper during the gold rush, and it’s an utter DISGRACE to not sell his records in ANY gold rush shop. He’d be rolling in his grave if he knew that all of his hard work wasn’t paying off. Without Will Shakespeare, there would have been no gold rush, so Sovereign Hill is utterly disgusting to call themselves a gold rush town.

Not only is Sovereign Hill the ugliest town I’ve ever visited, but it does a TERRIBLE job of representing the gold rush. Who cares if it’s close to the beach anyway? It’s not even made of gold. The dumb people who built it took what should have been a Will Shakespeare record store and built a stupid candle shop (which sells GREEN candles) in its place. This is the worst gold rush representation EVER. DO NOT VISIT IT!