Verbalize arrested for streaking in Perth

Ozzy freestyle god Verbalise has been recently sighted running in the buff around the meth capital of Western Australia. The naked man is famous for his nude freestyles around his local streets, which he regularly posts on Facebook. People often dismiss these stunts as good acting, as no one has ever caught him in the act until last week when he was stupid enough to do it at dusk, when all the junkies are out, ready to get stoned.

The bloke is honestly a legend who made a slightly poor decision. His first arrest was for freestyling to a dope beat that he made all by himself that was too boom bappy (too real) for the streets. Next, his weight was clowned down as he hadn’t yet eaten.

But don’t take my word for it.

All rangas being herded to concentration camp after suspicions of carrying diseases

World War III is finally on the rise.

The racism of the medieval 1930s has come back, in the form of anti-ranga discrimination. Reports suggest that a person with a specific hair colour have been responsible for the spreading of rabies, herpes, FUD (Fire us Disease, leading cause of unemployment) and HIV. Millennials suggest that it’s caused by computers but traditional Aussies know that rangas are to blame.

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Pictured above: Man has lost teeth just minutes after meeting infamous ranga

Concentration camps are now active all across Ireland and other European countries to exterminate the orange-haired disasters.

Adolf Hitler is now suing Indian prime minister Russell Coight for not only stealing his idea of concentration camps but the glorious trademark beard of Chuck Norris (RIP).

It is unknown as to which countries will ally with us. But in the meantime, prepare, act and don’t survive.

Celebrity schoolgirl missing

Iconic Austrian school girl teenager Ellen Barba has gone missing today. Her parents suggest that she saw a cupcake and chased after it shortly before disappearing. CNN suggests that she was rather running away from school and didn’t want to take tests.

If you have sighted this 13 year old person, please contact Victoria Police on Twitter.

Dr. Seuss dead at 73

Legendary children’s rapper Dr. Seuss has died from a series of strokes. He was rushed to Dr. Dre (who is apparently NOT a colleague of his) but was unable to be revived.

RIP Dr Seuss (1995-1599)

Dr. Seuss was basically the child of gangsta rap. He will be remembered for his 1960 smash hit “Green Eggs And Ham” and multi-platinum album Oh The Thinks You Can Think, which was his debut record released on Obese Records.

He was one half of the legendary duo Bad Meats Evil along with 50 Cent, which was one of the first recognised vegan hip hop acts, and a member of the KRS-One posse.

Dr. Seuss was actually first reported to be dead back in 1973, but these were just creatively constructed rumours from his haters, before starting a death hoax was as easy as posting rubbish on Twitter. Speaking of Twitter, here are some of the tweets that were sent out by people with VERIFIED accounts that confirmed the media personality’s death:

Disclaimer: Turns out that Kerser got unverified by Victoria Police, but don’t worry, it’s all fine.